But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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