What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Drunk walkin through police station. America
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
