you didnt know i had herpes?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
