Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
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