It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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