my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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