When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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