i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
