get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
