you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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