Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
