i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
