guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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