he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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