Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
