i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i was born a porn star she said
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Quick, to the slutcave!
I've blown a few things in my day
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
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