As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
