youre lurking in front of me
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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