so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
