Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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