using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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