I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i dont even know how to be here
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
