Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
