Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
