Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
3pm strippers are depressing
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
