he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
