I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
