And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
You're like the curious george of whores
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
