we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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