im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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