I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
