Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
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