quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
