Sponge bath it is.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
