And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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