DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
