Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
