I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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