I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
