i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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