I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
