I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Randomize
