i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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