i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I have aggressive nipples.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
