And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
