you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
i think i just lost a toe
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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