Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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