I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
