he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
