It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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