Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
pop tarts are not kleenex
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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